Survivor: Home

I was going to wait a week to post, and then jump out and yell, "Boo"...claiming that I had really died of taking my mother to the doctor, and was miraculously revived by an EMT George Clooney look alike performing CPR. But, I'm really only amusing myself.

The doctor's appointment is over for another YEAR. I no longer have to worry about the semi or bi situation...if Mom stays "stable", her doctor says that she only needs to make the journey annually. What a time saver!

So when is the house going to learn to take care of itself?

I actually don't mind "house work". You know, cleaning, laundry, cooking... It's just exhausting trying to cram it in between all the other "stuff". I've ALWAYS had to stifle the bitch-slap, when female acquaintances used the, "You can just CLEAN so much! tee, hee!" justification for sending their children off to be raised by wolves, while they sashay off to the executive washroom. If you have children in the house, there is constant cleaning. My daughter, a clean and tidy person, is 32 years old with a home of her own, and still, she leaves a trail of detritus all over mine! Used coffee mugs, newspapers, keys, phone, dirty wash, shoes, bags, wrappers, roller-blades, and jackets...and that's just now, looking around, sitting in my chair and minding my own business!

Now, throw in the Grands! They have been instructed by their father and mother to take their shoes off when entering the house. (I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to take MY shoes off when I visit in their home...but, I keep them on. It's my knee jerk rebellion to the mess they leave with me!) The kids DO take off their shoes at my house as well. In the middle of the floor, after walking through mud, jumping in leaves, and using them as a shovel for loose gravel! They play with pennies and marbles, paints and playdoh, oh, and a wonderful invention of my daughter's, DIRT PILES! We take old cookie sheets and put on a scoop of flour, a spoonful of sugar, and a couple of chunks of old brown sugar...then we let the boys, with their matchbox trucks, play in it on the living room coffee table! Wheee!

They find "meteors" at the construction sight, and clean them up in the kitchen sink (have you ever SEEN what meteors do to stainless steel when repeatedly dropped from faucet height?)! They leave every other kitchen surface covered in water and the dish towel (have you ever seen what meteors DO to kitchen towels?) in the dining room. There are hand prints (and tongue prints) on every single window and the TV screen and the mirror and the picture frames and the refrigerator and the dishwasher! If any of them ever disappear (god forbid) the police have unlimited identification sources.

There are books, balls, cards, dolls, legos, puzzles, cars, train sets, and little people farm accessories spread over the entire downstairs living area...then they carry stuff UPSTAIRS at naptime and it mysteriously multiplies while they sleep! And, you don't want to know what they do to the bedding! They knot it, crumble it, and make it into forts! They drag it around, wrap themselves in it, then pee through their pull-ups! They wipe their feet and their noses and the cat's feet and nose with it.

Every surface is sticky. Every carpet, crumb strewn. Every lamp shade is crooked. Every drawer, rearranged. Seriously, we could be robbed or bombed and I'd probably never notice!

I'm not complaining...I'd just like a drink!