Rainy Monday Musings....

Monday morning...and it's raining. I know how Karen Carpenter must have felt. I survived the weekend...actually the weekend was a lot of fun, in that grandparently masochistic way...I started a post that I may finish at some point...but, well on to the present....

I am missing my nightcaps. But, not the calories. That's my main concern right now. I don't know that I feel significantly different, enough to abstain completely...but, I really am concerned about the creepage of poundage. Once I've gotten that under control, I'm looking forward, once again, to a glass of red. What I DO like, is reading myself to sleep and remembering what I've read, and getting up more easily in the morning. I'm sure that "moderation" may be the key.

Daughter and Dude brought back a bottle of Tug Boat Red from their trip to the Fingerlakes' wineries. It is very, very good...I took a sip. I was really ok with just the sip. I did treat myself, later in the evening after the Grands left, to a dish of ice cream. To celebrate making it over a week on the wagon...and to cushion the loneliness of the quiet house.

Tall One's been cooking on Sundays...mostly because I don't. But, his meals have been good. Last night's risotto, especially! I'm looking forward to having some for lunch today.

There are some days, like today, that I really do see the allure of Tweeter. I've got thousands of random thoughts bouncing around in my head...but not the ambition to think deeply and flesh them out. But, since I'm not obsessive enough to sit in front of this computer all day, and I don't have internet capability on my shitty cell phone, I'll post a couple of "tweets" right here....

I just looked in the mirror and I've got an awful lot (emphasis on the awful!) of gray hair!

The older we get, the more distractions we need...and yet, can't handle!

Am I a bigot, or just stereotypically astute?

When I have the time, I don't feel like crying...when I feel like crying I don't have the time.

It's getting cold out, I'm wearing socks!

Won't someone, please, make it trendy to wear socks with flip-flops?

It's going to be a busy week (this isn't a "tweet", it's the beginning of a new train of thought). I will be seeing and spending time with my mother each day (except Thursday, and, I'm watching the Grands and working on Thursday). I think that a larger than normal percentage of the tasks will challenge my resolve "to enjoy everything I do, because life is too short to do anything that I don't want to do!".

Tomorrow is the dentist (for me) and the foot doctor (for mom). Wednesday is grocery shopping and light housework for mom. Friday, mom and I are making apple dumplings. This will be the first year she hasn't made them on her own. She never seems to particularly enjoy baking the obscene amount of dumplings she insists are necessary. She gives them all away. They ARE very good...but, it's kind of sad, because nobody REALLY cares and she makes herself sick over the whole project. She dreads it for weeks before, complains about the apples, the mess, the looks of the finished dumplings, and worries herself, to "the annoyance", over whether they are good or not. Afterward, she is stiff, sore, sick and wonders if anyone appreciates her sacrifice. I'm exhausted writing about it.

I wish that, after she is gone, I could remember the annual fall apple dumplings with nostalgia and pathos...but, I think I'll probably just contine on with the overwhelmingly pissed off feeling of being manipulated into feigned enjoyment that permeates so much of my interaction with my mother. This is a two way street, people, believe me. I carry as much, if not more responsibility for my feelings than my mother does. But, now I have to go...to mom's...so I'll have to more fully explore this another day...or not...mostly not...This is really something you'll have to read about on "Bogus Journeys".