April Fool

It must be April 1st...posting two days in a row.
I hate April Fool's Day....I hate practical jokes. OK, hate is a strong word and should be reserved for truly vile situations, but I'm not in a Thesaurus kind of mood.
Maybe it's the perverse sense of humor my mother exhibited from my earliest memory. The old, "your shoe's untied" in grade school, followed by maniacal laughter, progressed in my early adulthood to a frantic, hysterical, incomprehensible phone call, followed by maniacal laughter, or, as she grew older the hoarse, barely intelligible early morning phone call claiming to be close to death's door, followed by maniacal laughter. Somewhere along the line, I lost my joy of making others appear foolish (or scaring the bejeesus out of them). My brother seems to enjoy her antics, though, and she spends an inordinate amount of time and money "getting" him. Now that she's up in years (but still too mentally sharp for her own good, or a nursing home) I'm expected to help with these "jokes", and being the good, whipped daughter that I am, I unquestioningly do her bidding. Actually, the less details I have to listen to, the better. And I take absolutely NO responsibility for these "gags". This year she priority-mailed him a "Hot for Hillary" campaign button - he's a staunch, uncompromising republican (CPA)- ha, ha, ha.....(It is kind of appropriate considering the PA primary isn't too far off at all, and it's still a "race"). Of course, when he called to tell her he received the button, he had read it wrong and thought it said "NOT for Hillary", which isn't that funny and doesn't make any sense in the "April Fool's" scheme of things...so she was a little disappointed.
I have played one stellar, truly inspired April Fool's joke....but only one. A number of years ago, when Older Boy was in high school, he and a friend went out March 31st, late, to "fork" a friends lawn (this is the absolutely hilarious practice of taking plastic picnic forks and sticking them all over someone's landscaping). They were gone a long, long, time. It was about 1am, and I was getting a bit concerned. This is a boy who was always home, in bed by 11pm. Seriously, we didn't require it, he just liked his sleep. I knew they had started out to do property damage and I was worried they had gotten picked up for vandalism. Anyway, I called and woke the friend's parents, hoping Older Boy and Friend were there (days before cell phones, people). Parents sounded extremely annoyed (to be woken, not that the kids weren't there and probably arrested). When Older Boy arrived home, he explained that he and friend were sitting outside Intended Victim's house, waiting for the opportunity to "fork", but the lights remained on and Intended Victim's car was no where to be seen. So instead of risking apprehension, they called off the surveillance and aborted the forking mission. I confessed to calling Friend's parents, and probably getting Friend in trouble...Older Boy was very forgiving....
The next morning dawn's, April Fool's! Intended Victim has pulled the old "double blind" or whatever. We have plastic wrap spanning the drive way from tree to tree to tree (it's a substantial driveway). Now we know why his car wasn't at home. Ha, ha, ha, ha.....I'm still feeling a bit guilty (I have a very strong, well developed sense of guilt) for calling Friend's parents and getting Friend in potential trouble. So I decide to take matters into my own hands. I called the school and asked that Intended Victim be given a message to call me, it's urgent. ( I knew Intended Victim well, he is a long time friend of Older Boy and very capable of taking the following abuse). When I.V. calls back, I tell him that I had gotten called to an emergency in the middle of the night (I had a job that facilitated this). Driving out I did not see the plastic wrap death trap, and became entangled, lost control, and eventually my employer's van (isn't this good?) landed IN the apartment complex next door. Fortunately, no one was hurt (really, I'm fine) but the police were called and are investigating because of the vandalism. (It gets worse) One of the neighbors saw I.V.'s car, and witnessed the defilement of the trees, I couldn't cover for him. I wanted him to know they were contacting his parent's as we speak, and, oh, by the way, APRIL FOOL!!! Dead silence, followed by the sound of his butt hitting the chair, or perhaps the floor...*click*
It was a glorious, shining moment.....I had been redeemed....

But I still hate April Fool's Day, and practical jokes....