Five!

By last evening, I was feeling grumpy and thought that a glass of wine would be a GREAT idea. So, Tall One and I went for a walk instead. He wondered about my day and I told him. He said, "Ahhh, what are you grumpy about?", and I said, "Probably because I can't have a glass of wine!" The circle begins....

I woke up feeling irritable this morning, too. The actual point of this experiment is to see exactly how alcohol effects my moods, feelings and productivity. It may be that a glass of wine, calms and settles me. It may turn out to be a great stress buster. It could turn out that my hormonal fluctuations are much worse without the calming effects of my nightly red. Or, it could turn out that I feel much better drinking only occasionally. That would definitely be easier on my weight.

In my youth, I struggled with my weight. I was never grossly overweight, I just saw myself that way. I ate all the calorie dense staples of the 60's, 70's, and 80's without the physical exertion necessary to negate it. I would jump on the latest diet bandwagon, only to fall off a week later. In the 90's I hit on a workable solution. I ate high fat, wasted calories foods almost exclusively. I lost about 25 pounds. This was because of the universal truth that if you expend more calories than you eat, you will lose weight. I ate crap, but only a tiny, little bit of crap, or nothing at all. And, then because I couldn't crap I would take a couple of laxatives. This type of diet does not bode well over the long haul. I then got interested in weight training. You can't lift weights and NOT eat. But, weight training and bizarre food patterns go hand in hand. Around this time, Tall One learned to cook. I existed on mostly tuna fish and grilled chicken. I lived for a daily snack of a banana with a little bit of peanut butter. This diet was a huge IMPROVEMENT. More time passed, and I passed into middle age. Right around 47, it all fell apart.

I learned how to eat well to get and stay healthy. I've jumped on a couple of bandwagons. The flax meal bandwagon, and the no fat bandwagon. I tried some supplements, primarily glucosamine/chondroitin. But, in the last years I have mellowed. I eat cheese, but almost never red meat. I drink 1% milk instead of skim. I try very hard to look at the whole picture.

So, now, I know how to eat. I value moderation.

There are similar stages associated with my drinking. First there was the extreme indiscriminate illegal binging of my youth, then the religious inspired tee-totaling of my young adulthood. After I decided I wasn't going to hell for drinking a glass of wine with dinner, I would occasionally have a glass of wine with dinner. Then, we encountered a couple of life glitches, and a couple of glasses of wine became a reward. A way to celebrate making it through another day! Every day now, for a couple of years. Then we discovered the bar!

The crises have passed or mellowed, and now it's time to figure out how to moderate. I'm feeling pretty good this afternoon....I get to be the designated driver tonight...see you in the morning...