The Last of the Character Obsessions

Started 7/22/08

For a few days now I've been mulling over my limitations. I do have them. There is no debate. I didn't use to think so. But, experience is cruel, and, the reality is that I have true "breaking points" and legitimate conflicts of interests. In the midst of this emotional self scrutiny, Daughter and Dude revealed that Tall One and I will be grandparents for the third time. This is monumentally good news! Joyful, celebratory news. But a bit of a two-edged sword coming in the middle of my reflections. I've moaned and groaned a bit in "Bogus Journeys" but I'm not quite ready to leave the subject.

In opposition to my "ungiftedness", there are some qualities that stand me in good stead.

I am organized. But, not obsessively. Most of my drawers are categorized, but not compulsively neat, and I have closets and an armoire that need seriously professional work. I can make a comprehensive shopping list, plan a get-together, and accomplish a to-do list with reasonable success. I almost always carry wipes, chap-stick, ibuprofen, and breath mints. I once placated a hyper-active toddler in a grocery store with an entire pack of tic-tacs. It was NOT my finest moment...but, we both lived to fight another day. I carry Kleenex in my car. I can pack for a week long trip in a carry-on.

I am low maintenance. I am not beautiful. Apparently, I am "cute". I remember these notebooks we passed around in Junior High School. We called them "slam books". You would write the name of a classmate at the top of each page, and then exchange the books with friends who would write a comment below the name. Anonymously, of course. Some of the entries were brutal, but invariably the ones below my name would be, "cute and nice". In seventh grade, no one wants to be THAT boring. Now, in my 50's, cute will have to suffice. I really don't want to be gorgeous. That is just too much responsibility. Even beautiful requires too much commitment. "Passable" is non-threatening, and it does afford me the extra time and money I would be spending on make-up and hair products. This helps when packing my carry-on.

I'm just intelligent enough. Without a degree, of course. I made good grades in high school, a hundred years ago. But, then I really didn't take challenging subjects. I followed the "business course", with bookkeeping, typing and Business Math and Business English, just the essentials. I had one year of Bible College. Does any of it apply anymore? Absolutely not. It meant little at the time. But, I read. I stay current. I attend cultural events. And I travel (with only a carry on). I'm not afraid to try new things. And, I'm not afraid to fail. And, these things will keep me viable and relevant.

I am accommodating (my carry-on complies with airline standards). When I know another person's needs or preferences, I am truly happy to oblige. When I say, "it doesn't matter, I don't care", it truly doesn't matter, I really don't care. I don't need to pick the movie, or the place to eat. I don't mind changing my plans to fit into someone else's expectations. I'm flexible.

And, I'm sure I could come up with some other outstanding characteristics, but I'm boring myself. I'm done obsessing.