I'm in a Descriptive Mood....

Originally written 8/11/08.

I have fifty two years of experience, memories, and life on which to draw interesting entertaining anecdotes, and I'm sitting here staring into space (actually, staring at the desk top, real not virtual) trying to figure out what to write about. And now I've gone and ended a sentence with a preposition. I could delete "about" but I'm past that. Oh, hell....

Life should be like making movies. If you don't like a scene you get another take....or two. Do-overs till you get it right. But then we'd need writers and a director and gaffs and best boys. Traveling with an entourage could get pesky. I do like the idea of a soundtrack. Life should be accompanied by music. Please note my suggestion.

I'm entering an essay contest. Oh, yes, indeedy. It's not as easy as it sounds. It's much more difficult to write to a specific concept than to just ramble grammatically. I have to submit something soon. Time is running out...and so is my patience. It's an essay for god's sake not the Sonnets of Shakespeare. I'm feeling confident, although I know first prize will go to a cancer survivor. And how can you argue with that?

The contest, however it resolves, will be a test of my writing resolve. I'll look for more contests and continue to write with a specific objective. It will be good practice.

I'm reading. I'm reading and I'm thinking about how the words are going down on the paper. Some writers are so descriptive. Maybe all writers are so descriptive. I have to start describing things. Ok, here goes.....

The Desk:

The desk is not my favorite piece of furniture. It never has been. I didn't really like it the day Tall One brought it home. It's nondescript wood veneer with ugly, badly carved drawer pulls. I suppose it's intended to look old, substantial and classic. But, it can't pull it off. It's like a homely child decked out in faux pearls and plastic heels. You smile indulgently, but nobody's fooled into thinking this is Jackie Onassis. The contrast with older/newer/better things in the room doesn't help. The computer compartment on the right, hosts a hinged door that's decorated to mimic the drawers on the left. Bad idea. Above the door, that we keep open all the time for ventilation, is a pull out desk top extension that we've never used. On the left are two drawers, a file cabinet and a desk top extension that we do use, mostly to keep the grandsons out of the valuables when we're foolish enough to try and work while they're awake. The desk top holds, in addition to the 17" flat screen monitor (I had to locate a ruler for the dimensions) and speakers, placed smack dab in the middle, is a picture, to the left, of Tall One and I dancing and smiling at our son's wedding. Behind the picture is the lamp, one of a set of three, that we purchased in a Palm Springs boutique. The shade consists of three panels of translucent vellum that glow a coppery orange when lit. There's a special name for it that I just can't remember. In the far right corner sits a chest of little drawers, picked up in an antique market, that holds things like stamps, check books, paper clips and stapler. It's solidly built of real wood and the back is made of a thin sheet of metal, as are the the insides of the drawers. An old wooden pencil box with a sliding metal lid sits immediately in front of the monitor. And, a tile coaster, rarely used, lays beside. There are two flat, impossible to read calculators in front of the many drawered chest (not sure why we need two on display, I think I'll put one away), and invoices, checks and various miscellaneous papers and notes scattered about. A few pens and sticky-note pads add to the function and chaos.

Ok, now I have to take a break and straighten up.

The Last of the Character Obsessions

Started 7/22/08

For a few days now I've been mulling over my limitations. I do have them. There is no debate. I didn't use to think so. But, experience is cruel, and, the reality is that I have true "breaking points" and legitimate conflicts of interests. In the midst of this emotional self scrutiny, Daughter and Dude revealed that Tall One and I will be grandparents for the third time. This is monumentally good news! Joyful, celebratory news. But a bit of a two-edged sword coming in the middle of my reflections. I've moaned and groaned a bit in "Bogus Journeys" but I'm not quite ready to leave the subject.

In opposition to my "ungiftedness", there are some qualities that stand me in good stead.

I am organized. But, not obsessively. Most of my drawers are categorized, but not compulsively neat, and I have closets and an armoire that need seriously professional work. I can make a comprehensive shopping list, plan a get-together, and accomplish a to-do list with reasonable success. I almost always carry wipes, chap-stick, ibuprofen, and breath mints. I once placated a hyper-active toddler in a grocery store with an entire pack of tic-tacs. It was NOT my finest moment...but, we both lived to fight another day. I carry Kleenex in my car. I can pack for a week long trip in a carry-on.

I am low maintenance. I am not beautiful. Apparently, I am "cute". I remember these notebooks we passed around in Junior High School. We called them "slam books". You would write the name of a classmate at the top of each page, and then exchange the books with friends who would write a comment below the name. Anonymously, of course. Some of the entries were brutal, but invariably the ones below my name would be, "cute and nice". In seventh grade, no one wants to be THAT boring. Now, in my 50's, cute will have to suffice. I really don't want to be gorgeous. That is just too much responsibility. Even beautiful requires too much commitment. "Passable" is non-threatening, and it does afford me the extra time and money I would be spending on make-up and hair products. This helps when packing my carry-on.

I'm just intelligent enough. Without a degree, of course. I made good grades in high school, a hundred years ago. But, then I really didn't take challenging subjects. I followed the "business course", with bookkeeping, typing and Business Math and Business English, just the essentials. I had one year of Bible College. Does any of it apply anymore? Absolutely not. It meant little at the time. But, I read. I stay current. I attend cultural events. And I travel (with only a carry on). I'm not afraid to try new things. And, I'm not afraid to fail. And, these things will keep me viable and relevant.

I am accommodating (my carry-on complies with airline standards). When I know another person's needs or preferences, I am truly happy to oblige. When I say, "it doesn't matter, I don't care", it truly doesn't matter, I really don't care. I don't need to pick the movie, or the place to eat. I don't mind changing my plans to fit into someone else's expectations. I'm flexible.

And, I'm sure I could come up with some other outstanding characteristics, but I'm boring myself. I'm done obsessing.